My first 9 days of recovery were spent at the "Bennett Meadow Rehab for Body and Soul" in Northfield, MA. A majestic spot bordered by the Connecticut River with views of alfalfa fields and the rolling hills of the rural countryside of Western Massachusetts. Home cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner were lovingly delivered and my every need was attended to my my amazing husband. In the peacefulness is opportunity and time to let your mind wander to past, present, and future, as well as time just to be..reading, knitting, sewing, and sleeping. Silver lining number two.
Coming home I am confronted by gardens beds yet to be sown, weeds, weeds and more weeds, a house that needs cleaning and momentary frustration sets in. Take a deep breathe and think about what is possible, literally within reach. It's only early June - still time for planting, the house will get cleaned,eventually, and the weeds...well, I will attack some of them if the rain ever stops. I see the rain as my obstacle to attending to the weeds, not my lack of mobility. Silver lining number three.
So I come to today, June 5th. Sixteen years ago my beloved father, Francis K. Bartow passed away. Although I was his adopted daughter ( at age 18) he was a gentle man among gentlemen and truly embodied the would father to me. He loved me completely and loved my children..he was their Poppa. With me, came the love of a family like none he had ever known - we were all blessed in knowing him and sharing our lives with him. Silver lining number four.
When we take on the responsibility of loving another living thing - I wonder sometimes if we ever fully understand, until the end, just how very deep that relationship goes. Today our dear Bernese Max was quietly put to sleep at home, laying in his favorite spot in our den. I begged to know what he was thinking this morning, trying to lessen the guilt I felt. He had lived a long and happy life, but was finding moving painful, steps at times unnavigable, and was often confused in his surroundings. We had time for conversation before he went to sleep and I could only thank him for 14 years of steadfast companionship - he knew who had a good heart and those that did not, he loved road trips and the snow. And in the end he reminded me that love comes with a price of a broken heart, but it is a small price in reflection of all that we share when we are willing to take on loving something. Silver lining number five.
