and God said, "It is good."

My husband is an amazing man...thousands of shingles and nails and hundreds of hours later, our roof of wooden shingles is complete because of him.

My husband is a crazy man...the backside of roof began 4th of July weekend 2012 when it was over 100 degrees - temp higher flared higher than the heat. As cooler (and clearer) heads prevailed younger bodies finished up the preparation work and by late the October side one was complete.

My husband is a determined man...As spring approached, I engaged the help of an unknowing colleague to assist in the removal of the old shingles...harder, more strenuous work than he ever imagined, but true to his word he gave us a weekend of his strength and youth and the front side sat ready ..and waiting.

and so, my husband began, again...after work, weekends, through late spring, summer and fall... hoisting, nailing, cutting, down the staging and up again and finally it is done and it is good...

My husband is an amazing man .....

Finding the SIlver Lining

     The blog has been quiet of late as I get my thoughts straight after ankle surgery on May 16th.  Hopefully operation #11 will finally, once and for all, do the trick. The highlight  - and yes there can be highlights - is a "scooter" loaned to me for the 8 week non-weight bearing period of this recovery. While crutches are still needed for a few logistical parts of my life - all in all I have more freedom and independence that ever. Silver lining number one.
     My first 9 days of recovery were spent at the "Bennett Meadow Rehab for Body and Soul" in Northfield, MA. A majestic spot bordered by the Connecticut River with views of alfalfa fields and the rolling hills of the rural countryside of Western Massachusetts. Home cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner were lovingly delivered and my every need was attended to my my amazing husband. In the peacefulness is opportunity and time to let your mind wander to past, present, and future, as well as time just to be..reading, knitting, sewing, and sleeping. Silver lining number two.
     Coming home I am confronted by gardens beds yet to be sown, weeds, weeds and more weeds, a house that needs cleaning and momentary frustration sets in. Take a deep breathe and think about what is possible, literally within reach. It's only early June - still time for planting, the house will get cleaned,eventually, and the weeds...well, I will attack some of them if the rain ever stops. I see the rain as my obstacle to attending to the weeds, not my lack of mobility. Silver lining number three.
     So I come to today, June 5th. Sixteen years ago my beloved father, Francis K. Bartow passed away. Although I was his adopted daughter ( at age 18) he was a gentle man among gentlemen and truly embodied the would father to me. He loved me completely and loved my children..he was their Poppa. With me, came the love of a family like none he had ever known - we were all blessed in knowing him and sharing our lives with him. Silver lining number four.
     When we take on the responsibility of loving another living thing - I wonder sometimes if we ever fully understand, until the end, just how very deep that relationship goes. Today our dear Bernese Max was quietly put to sleep at home, laying in his favorite spot in our den. I begged to know what he was thinking this morning, trying to lessen the guilt I felt. He had lived a long and happy life, but was finding moving painful, steps at times unnavigable, and was often confused in his surroundings. We had time for conversation before he went to sleep and I could only thank him for 14 years of steadfast companionship - he knew who had a good heart and those that did not, he loved road trips and the snow. And in the end he reminded me that love comes with a price of a broken heart, but it is a small price in reflection of all that we share when we are willing to take on loving something. Silver lining number five.

In the sunshine of life

I usually am not an impulsive person, but this wonderful weekend in Phoenix may make me a bit more reflective about that as well.

Thank goodness Henry turned five and wanted the biggest birthday ever. Thank goodness for Bob needing to go to CA anyway. Thank goodness for Bob recognizing my need to see my wonderful grandchildren ( and parents). Thank goodness, yes really, for 100 degree dry heat and amazing sunshine. Thank goodness for my two sons and their loving thoughtfulness and my two daughters for sharing this time with me. And again, thank goodness every moment for my husband, who through hard, persevering tenacious, work in partnership with me, created all that made this Mother's Day weekend filled with amazing moments of laughter, relaxation and love.

Yesterday I heard a story, perhaps it will be familiar to some...A young child is struggling with moments of anger and angry words. The child's father gives them a hammer and bag of nails and takes them out to a fence behind their house. He tells the child to put a nail in the fence every time they are angry, or yelling or screaming...the first  the child hammers 37 nails into the fence. As time passes, however fewer and fewer nails are hammered in each day until at last, a day comes when the child does not need to hammer even one nail into the fence. The father is so pleased and proud of the child, and now explains that for everyday they show no anger or hurtful behavior, they need to remove a nail. Days move forward and finally all the nails are removed. The child runs to share this accomplishment and again the father is pleased. He takes the child 's hand and together they go to look at the fence. "I am very proud of you and the lessons you have learned, yet I have one more lesson to share. Do you see the nail holes in the fence? It is not the same as when you first began this journey and it will never be the same again. Just as if you stabbed a person and were sorry - you have still wounded them and they will forever carry that scar. You must choose your actions and words carefully because once we have acted in anger, no matter how sorry we may be, the scar of our actions remains forever."

In our days that are so hurried, we can easily forget to be so thoughtful of friend and stranger alike - I hope to keep the hammer and nails in the toolbox and use them for building, not breaking.

A Poem in My Pocket

Hope     

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson

Where has this week gone? Re-entry to school was challenging, but time is flying..too quickly for me.
Big Buff rooster has found a new home with a lovely Italian gentleman in Salem- so king and thoughtful, he called me tonight just to let me know that the transition went well..and Big Buff has a whole new flock of admiring hens following him around..this encounter with Stephano made me realize how is just one happenstance moment complete strangers can come into your life and bring you something new and unknown..and you weren't even expecting that to happen..I feel like I have a new friend, filled will knowledge about things that interest me and willing to share, gladly, what he has learned from his own life's experiences..

Questions that have come to mind this week -
Does anyone know the location of the black hole that is filled with the matches to all the single socks I have?
How much do we really need to live comfortably - how many things?..a portable life is at times very appealing.
How is it that I see my husband, children, grandchildren as the jewels of my life, while other woman who also have husbands, or children or maybe even grandchildren have no desire to openly acknowledge that the are part of those lives? I find that sad. I can be myself and still be Bob's wife, Kendall, Alex, Luke & Carley's mother and especially Henry, Evelyn(and Walter's)Mormor. They do not diminish who I am, but rather adorn me...I am truly blest.

Sleep beckons, and the new day's morning will be much quieter, as I don't imagine Big Buff's crow will carry over dawn's breaking from his new roost...

Small Steps Forward Still Bring you to your Destination

     Back to school tomorrow after a great staycation filled with sunshine, goals accomplished and renewed energy. April weather became April weather and garden beds were slowly prepared for planting and flowers beds received a partial face lift.
     On Friday we ate our first asparagus..delicious! Made Strawberry/Rhubarb(also known in our house as baybarb) Pie, also delicious!
     Weekend spent meeting fellow August travelers to Pine Ridge, SD and had the opportunity to spend some very special time with Henry Red Cloud talking about green energy, Native American life, and listening to his inspirational vision for his people. Henry doesn't live in the past and moves everyone he comes in contact with forward. Henry's message truly resonated in my heart -
We are all on this journey together - all related, all connected
On this journey we need to take small steps in a positive direction.
Nothing is accidental.
I can't wait to spend a week with him, his crew and 34 amazing "champions" building straw bale houses at Pine Ridge.
    Many things I had hoped to accomplish did not get done, but isn't that what tomorrow is for? I may not always be sure of reaching my destination, but putting myself in forward motion and being open to all that I encounter is perhaps more important.

Spring dressing

Today was perfect spring clean-up weather. I realized, however, that my exterior (garden/yard) cleaning is much more pleasing than the interior dust bunnies and floor washing. Asparagus bed weeded,purple lilac and wild roses had a trim and I battled with the raspberries. If my scratched arms are any indication - I believe I am victorious.

Excitement builds with the upcoming weekend visit of Henry Red Cloud from Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. I called the local paper and I think they were very happy to have a positive story to cover.

Returned to the yard to pick at the front beds - a perimeter weeding. I told my husband that working outside is like a drug to me - maybe it's all that Vitamin D? Regardless of the origin - the feeling of touching the soil, the smell of the lavender, and just being present amid nature's art, invigorates me...although my sore muscles would probably not echo that just now.



Asparagus year two..







Raspberries, thinking of Henry....
Should have taken a "before" picture - just imagine you could barely see the fence

Beginnings

During April vacation I often feel an inner desire to make changes, likened to those that are happening all around me. I woke this morning to a majestic cacophony of bird songs - well before the sun rose and traffic drowned out the exquisite notes - a natural arrangement of tone and rhythm seemingly simple yet magically complex. A reminder that on any given day we have the opportunity to create our own score that can combine the simple, predictable elements of our lives with the surprising, unexpected moments that often are that special harmony that rises above the melody.

Today's temperature was more like June...at this rate we may actually have mid-April weather by the time the week is over. Inspired by a three day body detox in whole living - May 2012, I shopped for the fruits, vegetables and nuts that comprise the simple 3 meals a day and snacks..yes snacks and desserts..really like this concept. Beginnings are also about making room for the new by making changes with the old. Next stop - used book store..books donated (tomorrow is Teacher discount day - may have to go back and browse a bit). Have plans for a beading project - A.C.Moore is a dangerous place - although bargains abound...Back home - cooking began. With help of husband and eldest son... FINALLY the old gigantic TV and now replaced dishwasher found space at the transfer station..opportunity to rearrange furniture and feel like a new room is in the making just by moving it - small gifts! 12 eggs from my happy flock of hens - Big Buff lives another day(alone). Although what I had hoped to accomplish outside will be waiting for me tomorrow, I was enjoyable to move forward with other projects and just relax a bit. (Why do we always feel some level of guilt for that?) A new recipe for dinner - Chicken Paprikash with Spaetzle - yummy. For today, Plato's words “The beginning is the most important part of the work" certainly takes an ordinary day to extraordinary. Tomorrow we begin again.